America is too phat.
As Americans today we have worked hard to get to the status we are at today and with that privilege, or rather the right to live as comfortably as we want. We are a free country but there is one problem we do need to deal with and our idea of the great mediator is important. Now as I am aware 65% of America is considered overweight and I as a patriot must suggest an idea that is for the good of the country and maybe even in the world. The government scapegoats lack of activity as the cause, but lets be realistic as possible diet and exercise is no fun and Americans have the right to always have fun somewhere in there right.
Modern civilizations have exceeding wealth and comfort and are now fat, but heavens we all know that it isn’t fun to be fat. And hey I know 65% of America knows that it is too much work to stay fit and hey when you are rich you deserve to not be inconvienced buy such trivial things like watching what you eat and exercising. Now I have a simple solution that even the skinniest of skinny people will be a supporter let alone the obese. I, unlike so many politicians, understand that fast food and high sugary foods are too tempting and impossible to pass up. After this solution the quality of food will skyrocket because no one will have to care about heart issues or cholesterol. Without skirting around the idea, which in my opinion is too extremely long to take even a short while to even introduce it to you, is this magnificent scheme. Picture this, a smaller earth!
Now I see what your thinking that hey if the earth is smaller wont that mess up something scientifically relevant, but do not fear because all will be revealed in do time. See as scientist know (not that America is stupid it’s just this country does not need to deal with minor details like physics) that the bigger the mass the more gravity exerts. Now with less gravity less things weigh and almost magically people weigh less and concerning the skinny people who doesn’t want to feel a bit lighter on your toes. When you weigh less the overweight and obese can move easier making the trip to the fridge or the local Burger King easier and less effort because we do not want to burn those calories we might need those for your decision making skills due to the choices. Yet life gets better with my solution, indeed I assure you it can, is that the skinny countries (Japan and Sweden), even though the joke is on them because they had to do all that work to be healthy and eat something like “fruits and vegetables from the ground” which are not made in a factory, is what we blast into orbit. They would have to pay for it themselves though because America is all that matters. With those nay Sayers gone they will not be able to suggest giving up the American right to have what ever they want when they want, which I hear passed in congress making it the 21st or 22nd I don’t remember.
I will say American life will be drastically changed and in my honest opinion for the better. With out the strain on our muscles from walking our hearts won’t have to work hard and therefore less heart attacks. Sorry cheerios and total. Heart attacks are the number one leading cause of death in the U.S. and all that is behind us, we all knew it was those sneaky heart attack genes not lack of exercise that killed us. We can’t be at fault for our own deaths no one would kill themselves. Also for the well being of America there will be less anorexia deaths. This is expert logic so follow closely, but not too close. If anorexia is a mental disorder and mentally you fell lighter and quicker than mentally the patient is fixed.
If one person could come deny my claim that making Earth smaller isn’t a good idea then he is not an American. If they suggest that enjoying fats and sugars 100% more than we should have would be absurd. If they can patriotically propose that our four fathers wanted us to work and not have fun or wonderful treats whenever we want I want to see proof. this nay sayer saying that heart disease is prevalent due to the 65% of overweight people and that we are in someway responsible not McDonalds for ingesting the food not just our genes, that food is not a right it is a privilege or that exercise and dieting, although lacking fun or taste actually is helpful I say he is a fool. If they can even say America lacks knowledge and thinks it is above moderation is a slap to George Washington’s face.
If only the truth was realized by the people that sleek aunt sheik, fat is phat after all. Anything can be out of proportion whether it is too skinny or morbidly obese if Americans went for what was healthy and not easy or cheap then we would be at the place we worked so hard to get to.
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